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12 July 2010 @ 19:37
lydia, im sorry im not listening to you, but i guess its the only way to talk to her now..
a letter to my friend.
我不明白你到底在想什么我不了解，为什么你要纠正我犯的每一个错误。我知道你写了封信，在你给lionel看的时候我不经意的看见了我的名字。所以你的结论是？短短的一封信能证明什么？the letter doesnt matter, i thought we were gonna be okay during kaleidoscope, i even told lydia that we were fine alr. but...我想如果我读了那封信，咱俩之间的问题应该早解决的吧。but i dont think i'll get a chance to read the letter anyway.you kept your thoughts bottled up, 但你只会讽刺我。always negative, never positive isnt it?why are u so brown? so Vietnamese~ you know i feel really offended.好好想想你到底讥讽我多少次，可你有夸奖我吗？ 但你应该知道我要的不是你的夸奖，我只需要一些鼓励，一些关心。试问你给过我多少？我今天都快死了！你过问了吗？i care for you, i always thought that i played a part in planting you as a seed to be a Christian,and i really really dont want you get the wrong idea about Christianity. and i really really want you to grow up right and straight. maybe i think too highly of myself. well im not even sure about it myself, even after being a 4 year old christian. just like what lydia told me, i aint mature enough as a christian. and what about u? you are not even a 1 year old.. and you dont even say grace before having lunch, and you said you were not used to it. i hope you does now.so the conclusion is, im not trying to make you feel that you're not right about the things you learnt in church, neither was i trying to embarrass you. you are a smart girl, thats why it might be hard for you to accept that you were wrong. so yea, im sorry if i offended you, and obviously you were offended.你也知道我俩都有错，既然你知道，为什么不去纠正？so you want me to apologise first?just tell me。no one is gonna do anything about it? then you are really wrong. i always wanted a talking session with you,and i thought the letter from you could solve most of our problem.and it shows that you have at least tried to solve our problem, though i dont really know whats in the letter,hopefully it isnt about something negative.i know you know i tried to deal with the situation that im in,didnt you know what i got for my mid-years?and its partly bcuz of the unsteady friendship i had and the 打击s i've received from it.and im not blaming you here okay? thats why i didnt really wanna bother about our friendship anymore, i dont wanna affect my studies.you know what happened between you and Am, who's fault was it?and every time after the fight, you guys seems to be even closer.isnt it the same between us?aint we having problems too?but if no one is gonna do anything about it,we'll never get closer. right?